Seems appropriate that the last post I managed on here was for Mother's Day. I can't seem to manage to find time for real updates here, but I always manage to update for the difficult events.
Not that I have anything to report, mind you. My biological "father" still hasn't acknowledged my existence. And I'm still working on being okay with that. I'm not, mind you. But the one upside of the insanity which has been life the last few months is that I don't even have time to worry about these issues. Not that they've gone away. Just that they aren't in the forefront of my consciousness.
I did call my (adoptive) father. We didn't talk long. We never do. But it was still good to touch base with him.
When I stop and think about the impact my father had on my life, I think I'm startled a bit. I always thought I was closer to my mom. But there is part of that that comes from taking him for granted. He was often there, in the background. He wasn't always good at the emotional stuff. But when it came to practical problems, he was always willing to help.
My dad isn't perfect. But he has supported me. And as I get a little older, I find myself appreciating that more.
I think the reason I want acknowledgement from my biological "father" is that I was hoping I might find a man who was more in touch with his emotions. No such luck.
But it doesn't make me not appreciated my father any less.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
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