I'm desperately trying to resume some kind of normalcy in life, with some success. Our basement is being returned to its previous state, albeit slowly. The semester is winding down (though the meetings haven't eased up). In general I'm beginning to think we might just come out of this without too much more difficulty. *knock on wood*
So today I looked for Mother's Day cards. After two months of not thinking about adoption, today I couldn't avoid it. It seemed the every card either made direct reference to birth or made some observation about how mom was always there for you.
Only one of the two people I was buying cards for was there when I was born, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be reminded of missing out on the next three and a half decades. So cards about giving birth seemed right out.
And given the situation with either of my mom's, especially some of the things my a-mom and I have been going through the last six months, I didn't think reminiscences about all those times together as mother and child seemed to hit the right note, either.
It was aggravating trying to find cards that still showed the love I feel for these two women, without sounding false. It's these little struggles that reminds me of my odd status.
I'm really not all that fond of Mother's Day, even while I'm fond of my mothers.
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I sympathize with you. Birthmoms have the same problem in picking out birthday cards for our sons and daughters and Christmas cards. Most of them talk about us watching how our children grew up and things like that, and I end up in tears in the Hallmark store every time, as its reinforced in every card what I missed, not being able to be there for my son's life.
I have managed to find some very nice cards, though, and it takes some searching.
My son also, has been able to find appropriate Mother's Day cards, and I've loved each and every one of them. He seems to pick out the Hallmark Connections cards. For example, one card had a little bear coming out of an envelope on the front and it said "I can't always be with you on Mother's Day ..." and inside it said "but I can always be thinking about you. Hope it's happy!" I LOVE that card. It's simple, but it's sweet and I don't know of any bmom that wouldn't adore getting a card like that from her son.
My birthday card last year was also a Connections from Hallmark. A little watering can on the front with flowers in it and it says: "Mother, hope your birthday is filled with wonderful reminders ..." and inside: "of how very much you're loved!" Again, simple but sweet. I carry it in my Bible, so I see it all the time!
I hope that gives you an idea at least for your bmom! Trust me, just that you remember her in some small way on Mother's day will thrill her heart.
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