Better?

Thanks to all the supportive comments on the last post.

I was all set to post about how I was feeling better. And part of me does feel better. I'm coming to grips with the fact that this isn't about me. Not really. That this is about him. And that, in the end, I don't need him. I am who I choose to be, and he doesn't determine my fate.

I'm trying to remember all that. But I also recognize that I'm still pretty raw about this whole thing. I've quick to read people wrong and quick to feeling sorry for myself.

I think, maybe, all I've really managed to do is avoid thinking about this situation, rather than actually coming to grips with it. When I get like this, all I want to do is avoid everyone and everything. Which describes most of the last few days.

I don't know how to change that pattern. But people say that the first step is admitting the problem. I don't know if that's true. And I'm not sure where to go next. But I do recognize the problem.