Selfish

I'm just devastated. I just talked to my mom, and she won't be home for Christmas. So my dad wasn't sure we were coming. And my mom won't be there. And now I'm going to be visiting an empty apartment.

So I'm feeling sorry for myself. And with some reason, I should add.

But I also feel guilty about it. Because I know my mom didn't do it on purpose.

And on top of that, my brother (one of my adopted brothers) and his girlfriend lost their baby. I just found out about it. He was born way too early and didn't make it. They are devastated. And I feel for them. And feeling sorry for myself feels so selfish right now.

I just hate all of this. I feel rotten for my brother. And I feel rotten for myself. It just hasn't been a good day.