I've been thinking about some of my online interactions about adoption. So many people (especially on Yahoo!) have come to think of me as angry. Indeed, so much so, that I've Styx's song "Fooling Yourself" going through my head:
"How can you be such an angry young man
When your future looks quite bright to me"
This sort of thing always gives me pause. Not because I listen to what people think of me. But I do wonder why I give off the impression that I'm angry. Precisely because I don't feel angry. At least, I don't think I do.
Am I angry about adoption? Maybe I am. I didn't think so. I'm sad about adoption. I'm sad about children losing their families. And I'm annoyed. I feel annoyed that society doesn't understand, really, how adoption affects children. Those are my primary emotions regarding adoption.
So why does that come across as anger? Maybe it's that people are not used to hearing criticisms of adoption and any criticism comes off angry? I"m not sure.
I know that I don't feel angry. And I don't blame anyone for being angry. Not when it comes to adoption. I'm probably going to have to keep thinking about this. If I am angry, I'd like to better understand that.
The only thing I can imagine being angry about is dealing with people who refuse to at least hear what I'm saying (even if they disagree). I'm okay with disagreement. I do get angry when people twist and/or ignore my words.
Still, I hope that sadness and frustration are not being confused for anger.
But in the end, I suppose that isn't my problem. It's the problem of those who want to dismiss adoptees as having relevant contributions to make to the discussion.