Monday, April 5, 2010

An Invitation

About a week ago I got an invitation from my half-brother (my father's son). Apparently they are having a family reunion this summer, and he asked me to come. He assured me that our father didn't mind if I came.

Never mind that my father has yet to call me, write me, or otherwise acknowledge me.

I would like to meet my brothers at some point. But I'm not sure why I should go all that way to meet him if he won't even contact me. I have spent years trying to get some kind of reaction from him. Still nothing. But I can act the desperate son, looking for some kind of connection no matter what. Ugh.

And I don't know that a large gathering (though I don't know how large) is the best time to meet this part of my family face-to-face. That could get overwhelming.

I do want to meet both my brothers, and this might be an ideal opportunity for that. But still... There are so many conflicting thoughts and feelings running around inside me...

Sometimes I wish I had no family at all...

3 comments:

Von said...

Know the feeling, it all gets so hard sometimes.
Does your father says he doesn't mind if you come or he actively wants you to, such a difference?
You're right a big family gathering might not be the place for this sort of meeting As an adoptee it seems you always do the running if you want to know because people make assumptions.
So important you do what is right for you and what feels comfortable and what you feel you can deal with.Good luck and good wishes.

Tulip said...

I understand completely.
you sound like a very smart guy.
& i think that you should think about it once more.
maybe you should go.
or else you might regret it.
but then again if you truly do not want to.
and feel really strongly about it then i guess keep trying through phone calls and or writing.
good luck and god bless hun.

jmomma said...

Assurance that he doesn't mind is not much encouragement. Would there be opportunities to meet your brothers just before the reunion? It seems like it would be easier to take in small doses. If you have someone with you it might be worthwhile to check it out. It sounds like a unique opportunity ~ with hazards.

If you go, you can go with multiple exit plans.
Best wishes...