Relief

My first mom had another surgery today. (It was planned, but I was trying very, very hard not to worry about it. And I nearly succeeded!) I just got word that she came through just fine.

Given that I am not generally a nervous person, that I generally don't worry that much about death and the like, I don't know for certain why this unnerves me so. (I mean, I have speculated on this before, but it still amazes me that I worry so much about this with her.)

Is it just a fear of losing her so quickly after waiting so long to find her? Or is it that I've lost so much that I expect this to end in tragedy? Maybe a bit of both.

But she's out of surgery and apparently doing well. They're going to keep her for a couple of days, but she's expecting to be home in time for Mother's Day. I just hope my card and flowers get there in time.