Are adoptees simply more curious?
Well, some adoptees?
I've been told, by a few adoptees who don't want to search, that they know who they are and they were never interested in finding their biological parents. They are, they say, content.
The temptation is to say that they are in denial. They really do want to know, but because of loyalty or other issues, they've suppressed that desire. They are trying to be the good adoptee, who wouldn't do that to their adoptive parents.
Maybe that's true.
But I'm not fond of guessing what's in someone else's heart. If they claim they aren't interested, then I'll accept their word on it.
But it begs the question: why? Why aren't they more curious?
I mean, who wouldn't want to know where they came from? Maybe, for various reasons, some won't act on that. As both Shelly and I can attest to, it's not an easy thing to do, searching for your parents. But I always wanted to know, even when I wasn't doing anything about it. I couldn't help but wonder.
I always knew that there were things about me that must have come from my biological parents. Interests, traits, looks. Knowing something about them would fill in gaps in my own story. How could I not want to know?
But some people claim not to want to know. Not just that they wouldn't search because of fears or worries or loyalty. They claim to not want to know.
I can't understand that. Maybe it's not important that I understand it. But I am trying to understand the difference between adoptees who search and those who don't. And this lack of curiosity seems important to understanding this difference. But so far I'm at a loss.
If anyone has any light to shed on this, I'd be very interested.